For me this is the best part of a wedding. It is the part that makes me smile, and cry at the same time. The words that are spoken, and the promise that is being made between these two people who love each other so dearly truely overwhelms me. This part of the wedding ceremony is not just the legal part that makes the two people man and wife (wife and wife, or husband and husband), but it is the binding contract, the declaration of love, the marriage of two people in its simplist form.
I’ve always said that my favourite part of the heterosexual wedding is when the bride walks down the isle. Most people look at the bride as she walks down, but I can never help but glance at the groom waiting at the end of the isle. It always makes me melt when I see a man shed a tear of joy at the sight of his bride. I say in a heterosexual wedding, as at homosexual weddings the layout isn’t always the same. There isn’t always someone waiting at the end of the isle, as the couple may choose to walk with each other down the isle at the same time, or may both walk down the isle, one just before the other so there isn’t that time for the first one who walked down to look back at their partner as they walk down.
Therefore, I’ve always thought that a couple should take care in choosing their vows.
If you are having a civil ceremony your registra will send a pack with the different options for your vows. My registra sent my pack and there were five options of different vows that we could choose from. If you are having a religous ceremony you will still be able to have some say towards what vows you choose and your religour leader will be able to advise you on this.
Your vows are a way you can make your wedding personal to you for free. It costs nothing to choose your vows. You can choose the vows that you most agree with and like the wording of, or you can decide yo write your own vows for the big day. You can buy books from leading book shops that will help you on writing your own vows such as Five steps to writing memorable vows by Rev. Steve Durkac or A World of Ways to Say I Do by Noah and Jordan Benshea. If you don’t want to invest in a book, there are a host of websites on the net that offer advice on everything from the overal sentimate, to the words and phrases you may want to consider using when writing your vows. Some of these very helpful websites include Confetti and You and Your Wedding. For your H2B there is a fantastic site that can help him write his vows but also in other aspects of the wedding planning and the big day too; iamstaggered.com.
A way that you can add to your wedding ceremony is by incorporating a Rose Ceremony. There are a number of different ways you can do a Rose Ceremony. The best thing to do is to creatr your own ideas by researching the different ways you can do it so it is personal to you.
My favourite way to perform a Rose Ceremony is for there to be two roses, one given to the bride by the groom and one given to the groom by the bride. You could ask your registra/religous sermon to perform the Rose Ceremony or you could ask a relative/friend/member of the bridal party to perform it for you instead of doing a reading. During a wedding ceremony you can have up to three readings, the third reading can be substituted for a Rose Ceremony, as it is often nice to do before the pronoucing of man and wife.
(as read/said by your chosen person)
“Your gift to each other for your wedding today has been your wedding rings – which shall always be an outward demonstration of your vows of love and respect; and a public showing of your commitment to each other.
You now have what remains the most honourable title, which may exist between a man and a woman – the title of “husband” and “wife.” For your first gift as husband and wife, that gift will be a single rose.
In the past, the rose was considered a symbol of love and a single rose always meant only one thing – it meant the words “I love you.” So it is appropriate that for your first gift – as husband and wife – that gift would be a single rose.
Please exchange your first gift as husband and wife.
In some ways it seems like you have not done anything at all. Just a moment ago you were holding one small rose – and now you are holding one small rose. In some ways, a marriage ceremony is like this. In some ways, tomorrow is going to seem no different than yesterday. But in fact today, just now, you both have given and received one of the most valuable and precious gifts of life – one I hope you always remember – the gift of true and abiding love within the devotion of marriage.
_________ and _____________, where ever you make your home in the future – pick one very special location for roses; so that on each anniversary of this truly wonderful occasion you both may take a rose to that spot both as a recommitment to your marriage – and a recommitment that this will be a marriage based upon love.
In every marriage there are times where it is difficult to find the right words.
It is easiest to hurt who we most love. It is easiest to be most hurt by who we most love.
It might be difficult some time to words to say “I am sorry” or “I forgive you”; “I need you” or “I am hurting”. If this should happen, if you simply can not find these words, leave a rose at that spot which both of you have selected – for that rose than says what matters most of all and should overpower all other things and all other words.
That rose says the words: “I still love you.”
The other should accept this rose for the words which can not be found, and remember the love and hope that you both share today.
__________ and ________, if there is anything you remember of this marriage ceremony, it is that it was love that brought you here today, it is only love which can make it a glorious union, and it is by love which your marriage shall endure.”
Alternatives to the Rose Ceremony:
There are other ceremonies that you can have as opposed to the Rose Ceremony, some ideas include:
- Warming of the rings
- Sand Ceremony
- Candle Lighting Ceremony
A website that will give you ideas for what can be said during these ceremonies is JULIA DENNY – The Hunter Valley Celebrant.