My Ex Old Man and my Ex Best Girlfriend


Ex old MAN

‘My Ex Old Man and my Ex Best Girl Friend’, may be the name of a song by country singer Kristen Kelly, but is also the title of this blog post, because yesterday my ex Fiance married an ex Best Friend of mine. 

Emma was my best friend all the way through secondary school and into A Levels, although at some point around GCSE years Emma left the school we went to together and went to a different school designed for those who had been failed by the education system. Emma and I spent a lot of time together, usually at her house, watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S, playing video games and eating Chinese takeaways. Often Emma’s parents would go on Holiday, leaving her at home alone (her grandparents would keep an eye on her), and during these weeks I would spend a lot of time at her house. We would buy cigarettes and smoke them in her garden, and drink vodka neat out the bottle and end laughing because I managed to fall over in her tiny, under stairs toilet. It was with Emma that I smoked Cannabis with for the first time. We even kept a scrap book of our exploits, printing out pictures to stick in the scrap books and sticking in emails or little hand written messages to each other. I wish I knew what happened to that scrap book! We would have little fall outs, like teenage girls do, but never for too long.

When I was 16 I started a relationship with Adrian. We got rather serious quite quickly considering our age. My parents weren’t sure about him at first because he seemed to come from no where to them and because he was 3 years older than me. But I managed to convince my parent round, and over the years they bonded with him. We would spend as many weekends as we could together, because he lived an hours drive away we didn’t see each other Monday-Friday.

There was quite a few occasions when Emma, Adrian and I would all hang out together. One weekend Adrian and I stayed over at Emma’s house. We all got on well.

Then when Emma and I went to university we started to drift apart, and this time our friendship stayed broken. I regret that I let our friendship fall apart, because we always had such fun together, we always had each others back, and never judged each other. We could tell each other anything and know the other would stay true.

Adrian I stayed together for 6.5 years. We stuck it out together, even throughout our university years, which is often when couples break up. Just before my 19th birthday he proposed, then in 2010, when we had both finished university, we moved into our first rented place together, a little run down flat. And we were planning our wedding for 2012. We were mostly happy, but once we moved in together the cracks started to show. We were two rather different people. The arguments became more frequent, and I started to fall out of love with him. So after 6.5 years together, and 5 months before our wedding day, we broke up. Our break up was amicable, and we asked our friends and family to keep any negativity to themselves. I still liked him, and he still liked me, we just realised we didn’t want to marry each other, and we had become more friends than lovers.

We were still good friends, that after breaking up, we carried on living together for 7 months until our tenancy contract ended. But soon after I moved out, we came to thexoldmane conclusion that for both our sakes it was best if we broke all contact so that we could both move on in a healthy way.

Fast forward a couple of years and I’m happily in a relationship with someone else and engaged to be married. That person is my husband. 

Adrian, much to my own discomfort and great upset, stayed friends with my Sister and Brother-In-Law and continued to see the two of them as friends. Over the years following Emma and I falling out of friendship, I’m not sure exactly how, Emma and my Sister became friends. often my Sister held gatherings for friends at her house and Adrian and Emma would both be invited. And when Adrian and Emma were both single they got together. At the time, although we had drifted apart in ‘the real world’ I was still friends on Facebook with Emma, but when I saw her relationship status update, to show she was in a relationship with Adrian, I deleted her as a friend. The idea of them being in a relationship was just too weird for me! And I didn’t want to watch their relationship play out online.

Fast forward another couple of years and my husband and I got married in the October of 2016 and the very next month Adrian proposed to Emma. How do I know this? Because a mutual friend of Emma and I, an old school friend, told me. The old school friend was shocked about their engagement, and understood why I felt it was weird.

Yesterday they got married. My Sister was a Bridesmaid, and my Brother-In-Law was an Usher.  I find this odd. To me, it seems that Adrian can’t/hasn’t moved on from when he was with me. Yes, my sister and bro-in-law are friends with them both, but if I was Emma, I would feel as though Adrian was using a friendship with them to cling onto me some how. Especially when you add in to this he still has my parents and other family members of mine as friends on Facebook. But it isn’t for me to pry into their relationship. If they are happy, then that is good. And we all look at things differently. But I wouldn’t want my husband to still have contact with his ex’s family, because it would make me feel like he can’t or hasn’t moved on.

I have no hard feelings over their relationship, and I think they probably do make a pretty good couple. Everyone deserves to be happy and I wish them all the luck for their future. If I see them, which is quite likely, seeing as they’ve stayed friends with family members of mine, and the four of us are all invited to my Brother-In-laws 30th Birthday bash later this year. If/When I see them I will smile and say hello. I won’t be rude, and I hope they give my Husband and I the same courtesy.

Thelongone

#BrideHour – A Twitter Chat Hour


#BrideHour

A few years ago when I first started participating in Twitter chat hours, #Bridehour was a very popular and busy chat, filled with tweets from wedding vendors and engaged couples alike. It was one of my favourite twitter chat hours, but sadly the chat died away. I’m not sure why, I can only presume because the person who hosted the chats stopped using twitter, which meant without a host the chat slowly got less and less popular.

Often it is the case that chat hours need someone who hosts the hours and tweets about the chat throughout the week to keep people interested in joining in and to serve as a reminder. If there is no one hosting and promoting the chat it is unlikely to keep going.

Well, a few weeks ago Bridal Bay decided to get the #BrideHour chat going again, and as soon as I found out they were trying to re-start #BrideHour I decided to join in with helping to promote the hour.

It will still be on the same day and at the same time it has always been; Every Thursday from 8pm to 9pm (UK time). #BrideHour long (1)

But don’t forget that there is also #weddingdaychat

Every Sunday 8pm-9pm too. 

In 2 Sunday’s Time it’ll be my 1st Anniversary


1st Anniversary Gift

So today is Sunday, albeit, Sunday rapidly drawing to a close. On Sunday 8th October 2017 I will have been married for 1 year.

Last time I posted about my anniversary coming up it was when I was in a quandary about what to get the Husband as a first anniversary gift. We decided to get each other paper gifts as per the traditional anniversary gift list.

Sounds pretty easy doesn’t it? And it is easy to find paper anniversary gifts. What is hard is narrowing down the ideas.

Some of the wonderful ideas I had and some that were suggested to me included: 

  • Having our wedding vows typed up in pretty fonts and colours and framed
  • Getting a personalised song written and produced for us and having the lyrics to the song printed off and framed
  • Crafting a map of the location where we got married into a rose
  • Someone tweeted me with the suggestion of a personalised toilet roll! 
  • Hand writing a love letter to my husband

All of those ideas are rather awesome, and some of those suggestions are near enough free, while others would cost quite a bit!

We currently are living with my sister as we save very hard to try and buy our own house in 12 months (or a little more) time. For this reason I didn’t really want to get anything that would take up space, nor anything that would cost too much.

What I decided to go with isn’t in the above list of ideas. And although I was very tempted to tell you now what I’ve bought for him, I think I’m going to wait to reveal that until after our anniversary.

What do you think I’ve bought him? I’d love to see your guesses in the comments below. Then if any of you are right I will let you know and try to tag you in my post telling all, after our anniversary.

A Daydream Idea for a new Budget Wedding Service


A few mornings ago whilst going about my normal getting ready routine I had a proper detailed day dream that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about.

direct budget wedding planning service idea

During my years writing this blog, I have met countless couples that feel completely lost in the maze of wedding planning. As soon as you’re engaged you start getting questions thrown at you – when is your date, what venue have you chosen, what colour scheme are you having…. and often you don’t know the answers to any of these questions.

What does a newly engaged person normally do? Go out and purchase some wonderful wedding magazines to peruse for inspiration. Wedding magazines are great, I personally love flicking through the glossy pages, but they’re not exactly well known for having products and services aimed at the small budget wedding.

Sadly, I’ve also spoken to couples who have ended up feel pushed by well meaning but over assertive relatives into having a certain venue, or into booking services and suppliers that they wouldn’t really have wanted to have if they’d been left to their own devices. And we’ve all heard of a couple who have ended up inviting people to their wedding they don’t even know because their parent/grandparent/aunt told them they have to.

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Sunshine Blogger Award


Nominated for the sunshine blogger award

5 days ago I found out that I’d been nominated for the Sunshine Blogger Award which is an award given to bloggers by bloggers. I feel very honoured and incredibly happy to have been nominated for this award. I work hard to build relationships and connections within the blogging world and outside of it. I’ve made some absolutely fabulous connections in my time writing SayIDoOnABudget, and some of the best connections I’ve made have been with other bloggers.

Aylssa is a hairstylist, MUA and an event planner as well as writing her own wedding blog from her base in Columbia, MO. She is one of the busiest people I think I’ve ever met yet she always seems to find time to help others in the blogging community.

The Sunshine Blogger Award is given to bloggers who are creative, positive and inspiring.

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1st Anniversary Present? No Clue


1st Anniversary gift Dilemma

As our first anniversary draws closer I feel further and further away both actually in regards to time past, but also mentally, from my wedding day. I have never claimed to have a good memory, but I did hope I would remember more of the day than I feel I do, at only less than a year since.

When I try to remember the day, I can walk through it in my head as a time line of what happened, but it feels hard to bring some of it to the front of my mind the way I imagine those with better memories can.

This poor ability to remember things makes me so grateful for this blog. Even though I’ve rarely discussed my feelings in posts, I have discussed facts, meaning I can use past posts to help me recall the facts of the day if not my feelings.

It is exactly 9 weeks until my first wedding anniversary. Which has got me thinking… what do I get him as a present?
It can’t be anything too expensive as we are currently saving very hard with the view of us getting on the property ladder soon. We also agreed to buy each other “traditional anniversary gifts”.

Have you tried to find out what the traditional gifts are for each year of marriage? If you have you probably came across the same problem we did. That there are a couple of versions out there and it is hard to know which one is correct.

Well after much searching, the list we’ve decided to use is as below. Meaning the first gift we’re to get each other is something Paper.

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