NWR – Mother – Daughter

This has been re-blogged from lynetteradio.

Letter from a Mother to a Daughter:

“My dear girl, the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through. If when we talk, I repeat the same thing a thousand times, don’t interrupt to say: “You said the same thing a minute ago”… Just listen, please. Try to remember the times when you were little and I would read the same story night after night until you would fall asleep. When I don’t want to take a bath, don’t be mad and don’t embarrass me. Remember when I had to run after you making excuses and trying to get you to take a shower when you were just a girl? When you see how ignorant I am when it comes to new technology, give me the time to learn and don’t look at me that way… remember, honey, I patiently taught you how to do many things like eating appropriately, getting dressed, combing your hair and dealing with life’s issues every day… the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through. If I occasionally lose track of what we’re talking about, give me the time to remember, and if I can’t, don’t be nervous, impatient or arrogant. Just know in your heart that the most important thing for me is to be with you. And when my old, tired legs don’t let me move as quickly as before, give me your hand the same way that I offered mine to you when you first walked. When those days come, don’t feel sad… just be with me, and understand me while I get to the end of my life with love. I’ll cherish and thank you for the gift of time and joy we shared. With a big smile and the huge love I’ve always had for you, I just want to say, I love you… my darling daughter.”

NWR – Freaky Finger

Freak Like Me

I have a freaky finger. I have thought for a long time that I have a freaky finger. The finger in question is my middle finger on my right hand.

You see it bends to the right at the top.

I’ll show you my left hand first. I have drawn a straight line on the picture in both pictures so you can see the difference more clearly.

And here comes the freaky right hand with the offending middle finger.

Anyone else have any freaky fingers?

Should you change your last name?

Should you change your last name?.

I absolutely love this post by Sara. She has said what I feel so well. I thought I would share her post and my comment to her post with you.

My comment:
I am having this exact battle in my head. I get married this October, and just do not know whether to take my H2B’s name.

I have a love hate relationship with my surname. I love it because I have a really great relationship with my parents and my sister and I have the same last name as them. I don’t want to change my last name as it will be like I am tossing them to the side and wont be as close to them any more. I know they wouldn’t treat me any differently, but it is just how I feel even though I know it sounds stupid. I almost feel as though I would no longer be a family unit with them. At family gatherings they would be the G’s and I would be a B. My surname is short and quite harsh sounding when you say it but I have grown to love it over the years.

Another reason as to why I don’t like the idea of changing my name is because the H2Bs parents are divorced, so his mum has gone back to her maiden name and neither he nor I have a particularly good relationship with his father. The relationship is definately not as close as we are to my parents; so why should I take a name that doesn’t seem to have a strong family attachment? His brother is married and him and his wife have taken the B family name. They also have two sons, so the name will be carried on through them, therefore it isn’t like the H2B needs to keep his name and pass it on to his children.

Therefore I want him to join my family and take my name, rather than me join his and take his name.

The feminist in me also hates the fact that society dictates I change my name. Men don’t even seem to contemplate changing their name, it is just expected that the woman will change hers, and often when asked the man refuses to change his name. Usually the refusal is based on the fact that it is his identity etc, which makes me even madder as I just think, yes, and my name is my identity. Girls no longer belong to this dad until they marry, and the changing of the girl’s name signified that she had gone from being her father’s possession to being her husbands. I am not a possession, so why should I have to signify who I belong to by changing my name.

It all seems so confusing and I just don’t know what to do. So thank you for writing this post. I thought I was the only woman who felt this way as so many of my friends just took their husband’s name without even questioning it.

I quite like the idea of merging the couples surnames into one surname. So If my fiance and I did that we would be either Brough or Gowning; keeping both names but using them to make a new name.

This website shows you the different choices you have when thinking about changing names upon marriage, the merging I have talked about is point 1.4 titled “Meshing” your surnames.

Basically for a heterosexual marriage, if you are doing anything other than the woman taking the mans surname you have to change your names by deed poll. Therefore a nice touch to the wedding is to apply for your deedpolls before the wedding, and after you have signed the registrar during the ceremony you then sign your deedpolls too which you send off the next day for your legal name change.